SEASON one
volume one: DISCOVERY
(JUNE 2024 - JULY 2024)
KILLAVSN.com
KILLAVSN ARTIST STATEMENT
Living in what seems such a superficial world, my work strays away from what is perfect and showcases the imperfect. That is what makes the human EXPERIENCE so extraordinary. That is what I believe makes my art so captivating. On a personal level, my art expresses, through means of personification and juxtapositions, my own suppressed emotions, EXPOSED! Thus, acting as a catalyst for introspection as seen through my own works such as ‘GRIEF PERSONIFIED.’
Celebrating imperfections, my work is inspired by radical art revolutions such as Dadaism, the abstract notions of body distortion, the beautiful obscurity within mystery, and the relationship between music and emotion. I draw on the suggestive power of color theory, and the liberation of gender fluidity, and have created my foundation on being unapologetically “RAW.” These concepts drive the overall VISION of curating pieces that embrace transparency and create space for my viewers and subjects to feel SEEN. Something I believe is CRAVED and DESIRED on an innate level. Something I TOO desire.
At the heart of my art lies the following invitation: BE. FEEL. LOVE. KILLAVSN; A movement without judgment, retribution, and retaliation, welcoming healing on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level without the pressures of societal expectations. A movement that inspires RAW dialogue and an art sanctuary in which “WE ARE ALL A VISION.”
-KILLAVSN
HOMAGE TO PRIDE
BY KILLAVSN
QUINTON (THEY/THEM)
They are an Orlando based creative with a passion for fashion and all things beauty. Quinton, a kind-hearted and free spirited individual who is also an aspiring model and stylist has assisted in not only modeling in photoshoots but providing fashion and styling inspiration for current projects. It has been an absolute pleasure and honor collaborating with them! 10s 10s 10s across the board!
06.21.2024
MUSICAL INSPIRATION
Music has such a profound place in all of my art. This helps build on the narrative I am attempting to convey. It adds character. It adds emotion, I believe it adds a unique experience for my readers and viewers. After all KILLAVSN is an EXPERIENCE. This song, coupled with the image, adds an empowering, high energy, liberating feeling. A feeling of joy I hope my supporters can feel after viewing my art. The music paired with my unique editing process attributed to much of the colors utilized in this image.
Many don’t believe me when I say that I picked up my first professional camera in the month of June 2024. Knowing I’ve always had an interest in the overall concept of aesthetics, there was always a subconscious love for the beauty of an image. A subconscious love, that is now VERY conscious.
One of my favorite hobbies I had growing up was looking at old family photos. Putting together stories in my head that corresponded to the photos I was looking at. Telling myself “Oh I remember that” as I look at a baby picture of myself, lol.
I’ve always been a daydreamer. Nothing wrong with that, right? Romanticizing life.
There is beauty in the ability an image has to tell a story. Creating a narrative that truly highlights the essence of an environment, person and overall moment.
Preparing and debuting my first series, ‘Homage to Pride’, was a turning point in how I wanted to be seen as an ARTIST.
I wanted to spark conversation, both negative and positive. I wanted to spread awareness. I wanted to instill courage and confidence in those who may feel MUTE and HIDDEN.
I don’t know about y’all, but I LOVE a good controversy. I love being able to challenge and provide different perspectives, even to those that may not be as receptive.
Inspiration for this piece actually stemmed from the newspaper article Quinton is holding. An article that absolutely enraged me. Quite frankly though, it was not a surprise to me.
This article was released during Pride Month in Orlando, FL. I know this, obviously, because I was there, but in a broader sense, LBGTQ+ news rarely ever appears throughout the year in this light.
“Let’s only act like allies during Pride Month” is the message this sends.
At that moment, I knew ‘Homage to Pride’ needed to be a statement. It needed to stir up and create conversation, even if it was on a smaller scale.
I wanted to create the dialogue that WE ARE HERE! By WE, I am referring the LBGTQ+ community. A community I consider myself to be apart of. Stigmatized and stereotyped, I wanted to take control of our narrative.
When thinking of who I wanted to help me execute this vision, I knew that the individual would have to be unapologetically confident, representative of the community, and have an IDGAF attitude. Quinton, a former coworker of mine, was the selection for this.
I presented the idea to them, and of course, as we can see ‘HOMAGE TO PRIDE’ was born!
A declaration that: WE ARE HERE! SEE US! THERE IS NO HIDING US! WE ARE BEAUTIFUL!
A TRUE EMBODIMENT THAT “WE ARE ALL A VISION!”
-KILLAVSN
CONTROVERSY
by killavsn
07.11.2024
KEVIN
Kevin. Kevincito. Friend. Colleague. Big brother. Photographer. Model. Director. A man of many trades and of great spirit! “A blessing” is one of his signature sayings. A blessing is exactly what he is and a blessing is what he will continue to be. Kevin has been an inspiration regarding the outlook we should have in the face of adversity. We look at it and say “A blessing!” The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. It is all a blessing!
“Living in a time where we assign gender to simple inanimate objects (hair-clips, stickers, etc) and even colors. This portrays the contrast of societal perceptions on masculinity and femininity through the use of feminine hair accessories on masculine presenting men showcasing that masculinity does not make you a man nor does femininity make you any less than one. It does not define who we are!”
This project was one that I felt very strongly about during this timeframe. I wanted to put forth my own opinion towards a much heated debate between concepts of masculinity and femininity in MEN. A concept that in my opinion, debilitates and confines men into the desires of society.
I have come to a point within my development where I refuse to confine myself into what society believes I should or should not be.
A debate that circles around the ideals that “masculinity makes you a man” and that any hints of “femininity” makes you “less than a man”
If I’m being honest, I believe we all have masculine and feminine qualities. All of which doesn’t make us any less than our gender, rather, it just makes us human.
“CONTROVERSY’ held the responsibility of delivering that message. I found that in this society, this issue has gotten to the point to where we now assign gender to inanimate objects. Objects/things such as: toys, colors, hair accessories, shapes, etc. “BLUE IS FOR BOYS AND PINK IS FOR GIRLS”
It wasn’t a while ago where it was the opposite.. But that’s a conversation for another day… no shade.
I met Kevin, my classmate, now good friend, at the beginning of my professional photography journey. The more I got to know Kevin, the more I saw that he would be the perfect subject for the subject matter I was attempting to deliver.
One thing about Kevin is that, excuse my French, he does not give a FLYING FUCK! Kevin shows up as himself unapologetically EVERYDAY. Holds nothing back and quite literally speaks everything on his mind.
My subject needed to display such a high level confidence and security within their own identity. A confidence that would speak volume and inspire! ONE that once again, would spark conversation.. or perhaps CONTROVERSY!
I drew inspiration for this piece after seeing fashion trends with male musical artists such as Drake and A$AP Rocky who had released images wearing hair clips in their hair. Other inspirations include Kid Cudi wearing a skirt. These fashion statements in my opinion are SO liberating to see, especially as a man. It projects such a level of confidence and security! As artists, sometimes our jobs are to stir up CONTROVERSY. CHALLENGE what is considered NORMAL. That is how we influence A PARADIGM SHIFT.
-KILLAVSN
GLASS SKIN
by killavsn
DARIUS
(A STREET BOUQUET FOR YOUR LOSS)
Kindness. Grace. Inspiration. Hope.
The poet himself. It is common for many artists to feel their work on a different level. It takes an extremely rare artist to make people feel how they feel through their craft. That is a gift in itself. CONVICTION. From the moment I met Darius, I sensed hope. I sensed perseverance and an instant spirit of kindness. Working with him on this project confirmed all of those senses and more…GENUINE, truly!
07.13.2024
MUSICAL INSPIRATION
During one of the brief conversations Darius and I had during this project, he has pointed out that it appeared as though I was pulling inspiration from Solange. It’s funny because I felt so silly for not thinking of Solange (as I drew inspiration for this piece from from Drake and A$AP Rocky). After hearing Solange’s name, the first song that came to mind was ‘Cranes in the Sky’. My editing process can be rather strange sometimes. In order to be able to convey emotion through my work, I also have to be able to place myself in a certain headspace in editing to do so. In this case, it was having ‘Cranes in the Sky’ on REPEAT for the entirety of the editing process for these. Embodying the essence of a song, and allowing that to speak through an image. This project is intended to be listened to with ‘Cranes in the Sky’ but for a different experience and a look into a street bouquet for your loss listen to ‘Another Day’ below.
JUST LOOK.
WHEN WE GO LOOKING FOR SOMETHING. AT SOME POINT CAN WE SAY WILL WE FIND IT?
IF WE FORGET WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR AND WE EVENTUALLY FIND IT, WERE WE STILL TECHNICALLY LOOKING OR WAS IT ALREADY THERE?
“STILL WAITING FOR MY GOD TO RESPOND”
IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW
I PRAY YOUR GOD RESPONDED.
WHEN WE SEEK, WE WILL EVENTUALLY FIND.
ALL WE GOTTA DO IS:
JUST LOOK.
The funny thing about ‘GLASS SKIN’ is that it was never intended to be its own piece. Its original intent was supposed to be a continuation of the ‘CONTROVERSY’ series. I think that goes to show how fluid art can be and how EACH individual we encounter is inherently different and has the ability to provoke a different narrative.. or rather, has their own narrative.
This project on a personal level was actually so coincidentally comical. Before asking Darius to help participate with this project, we had spoken perhaps a handful of time in passing. I knew nothing about this man, yet, I saw his aesthetic, and thought, “Yup, he could DEF pull this off!” I took a leap of faith, proposed the idea, and without hesitation, he was down!
Here comes the coincidence.
I have a belief that creatives have an innate way of recognizing other creatives. It wasn’t until a week or so after releasing this project that I found out Darius was ‘a street bouquet for your loss’ - local Hip-Hop Artist/Poet originally from Queens, NY.
It’s a funny coincidence because rather than continuing the ‘CONTROVERSY’ aesthetic of placing hair clips in his hair, we went ahead and put flowers in his hair instead (a street BOUQUET for your loss.) Darius commented to this change by saying “you tryna have me on some Lilo shit” (inserts laughing emoji) PURE COMEDY.
Editing these photos without knowing I had met another ARTIST, I knew these images called for a whole different approach. Rather than going for the multi-color edit, which was the original edit, and very on brand for me, I felt like these specifically needed to be in black and white, with splashes of BLUE.
I wanted to convey the idea that things aren’t always as they seem - an idea that would soon inspire future pieces. We as individuals are intricate and are composed of so many different layers. The blue skin on a black and white image helped portray that concept. Connoting the idea of being a blank canvas, with our experiences adding color to us. Adding life to us.
Having heard a street bouquet for your loss’ music, after the fact, was when everything about the edit and images made all the more sense.
COINCIDENCE, HUH?
‘GLASS SKIN’ is a piece on introspection. It’s a piece on life. GLASS connoting ideas of transparency and vulnerability. SKIN representing elasticity and sturdiness. Both can be strong and fragile. Kind of like us as people. Two contrasting ideas. Together representing the dynamism of life and ultimately how life has the ability to be REFLECTED through our SKIN, or in other words, US. We are a reflection of our experiences.
-KILLAVSN
artist spotlight:
a street bouquet for your loss
artwork spotlight:
AMEN
SELF portrait series
AMEN PORTRAYS THE STORY OF THE PAIN, SUFFERING AND GRIEF FOLLOWING THE TRAGIC EVENTS OF MARCH 13, 2022, AFTER BEING SHOT A TOTAL OF 9 TIMES, RANGING FROM THE HEAD, ARM, CHEST, BACK, SHOULDER AND FACE. AMEN MEANING “SO BE IT” GOES FURTHER TO SPEAK ON THE ACCEPTANCE OF AN ALMOST FATAL EVENT AND TRANSFORMS THE PIECE FROM ONE OF GRIEF, TO ONE OF CELEBRATION. RESILIENCE. STRENGTH. ENCOURAGEMENT. INTENTION.
I BROKE DOWN CRYING WHILE EDITING THIS PIECE AS I PLAY “BLACKBIIRD” BY BEYONCÉ BECAUSE I TOO WAS THAT BIRD WITH BROKEN WINGS FOR THE LONGEST TIME. QUESTIONING “WHY ME?!”. PLEADING WITH GOD. BEGGING FOR REASONS TO STAY ALIVE. AS I WRITE THIS, I WALK IN AN ANSWERED PRAYER. A PRAYER OF STRENGTH. A PRAYER OF LIGHT. A PRAYER OF INTENTION. A PRAYER OF LOVE. A PRAYER OF ENCOURAGEMENT. A PRAYER OF GRATITUDE.
THAT IS KILLAVSN. AN ANSWERED PRAYER.
KILLAVSN SEEKS TO BRING JOY, LOVE AND INTENTION IN AN OTHERWISE CRAZY, CHAOTIC AND EVIL WORLD. BEING A FIRST-GENERATION, GAY, MAN OF COLOR, ODDS HAVE NEVER IN MY FAVOR. KILLAVSN SEEKS TO BUILD COMMUNITY AMONGST THOSE MISUNDERSTOOD, MISREPRESENTED, AND UNDER APPRECIATED. PLACING EMPHASIS ON OUR BEAUTIFUL INTRICACIES… BECAUSE…
WE ARE ALL A VISION.
AMEN STARTED OFF AS AN ASSIGNMENT FOR SCHOOL AND THE EDIT WAS ALSO ORIGINALLY BLACK AND WHITE. THE PROJECT CONSISTED OF BEING A SELF PORTRAIT. IT WAS DIFFICULT TO COME UP WITH A CONCEPT THAT I FELT EMBODIED MY ESSENCE DURING THIS POINT IN TIME. DURING THIS TIME FRAME, I FOUND MYSELF REMINISCING ON THE EVENTS OF MARCH 13TH. I KNEW OF THE GREAT IMPACT THIS EVENT HAS HAD ON ME. IT WAS THEN I KNEW HOW I WANTED TO PORTRAY MYSELF.
I WANTED TO SHOWCASE MY SCARS WHICH FOR THE LONGEST TIME HAD BEEN MY IDENTITY. IT WAS MY DOWNFALL. IT WAS AN EVERYDAY REMINDER. I WENT AHEAD AND SET MY CAMERA UP AND STARTED CAPTURING IMAGES FROM DIFFERENT ANGLES (ALL OF WHICH WERE VERY SIMLAR TO THE FINAL POSE IN AMEN.) REFLECTING ON THE POSE, I FOUND THAT I WAS COMFORTING MYSELF (AS I HUGGED MYSELF IN THE IMAGE), WHICH SPEAKS ON THE AMOUNT OF COMFORT, LOVE AND GRACE I HAD TO GIVE MYSELF POST-EVENT. YES, I HAD MY FAMILY SUPPORTING ME, BUT DEEP DOWN I KNEW THEY DIDN’T KNOW THE TRUE PAIN AND SUFFERING ASSOCIATED WITH THE EVENT. HOW IT CHANGED ME. I WAS GRIEVING. I WAS GRIEVING THE PART OF ME THAT DIED THAT DAY. I SAID “GOODBYE” TO A VERSION OF MYSELF THAT WILL NO LONGER EXIST.
“SOMETIMES YOU DON’T KNOW THAT YOU’RE GRIEVING UNTIL AFTER YOU’RE DONE GRIEVING.”
ALL OF THESE EMOTIONS START RUSHING IN AS I’M EDITING THIS IMAGE AND MY HOPE IS THAT SHOWS IN THE FINAL EDIT. I LOOKED AT MY SCARS AND THOUGHT, “WOW, THAT WAS SO PAINFUL, BUT LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE NOW… LOOK AT WHERE I AM NOW… LOOK AT WHERE GOD HAS BROUGHT ME” TEARS DID NOT STOP ROLLING DOWN MY FACE. I WAS FINALLY LETTING GO.
THAT WAS WHEN THE BEAUTY OF THE PIECE WAS REVEALED TO ME. SCARS ON MY BACK SYMBOLIZING HOW I COULD NEVER FORGET THE EVENT, BUT HOW IT CAN NOW BE RELEASED AND LEFT IN THE PAST. LOOKING UP WITH MY EYES CLOSED ENCAPSULATES THE IDEA OF MOVING BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT. A LESSON I HAD TO LEARN THROUGH THIS TIMEFRAME. BROKEN AND IN PAIN, I HAD TO TRUST THAT THINGS WERE GOING TO GET BETTER, EVEN DURING TIMES IT WAS HARD TO BELIEVE.
IT WAS A REMINDER OF THE GRACE, LOVE AND MERCY THAT HAS CONTINUOUSLY FOLLOWED ME AND WILL CONTINUE TO FOLLOW ME.
OFTEN TIMES, WE FIND OURSELVES IN SITUATIONS WHERE WE ARE WONDERING “WHY?!” BUT THE BEAUTY OF TIME IS HOW IT WILL EVENTUALLY HEAL YOU.
“YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAIN”